There are no losers here. Every one of these gents should be both feared and respected for what they bring to the mankind. From sports of all kind, we have gathered the best moustaches ever to participate in the world of sports.
Do you have any guesses? I’m sure you do. Hit the jump to see the list.
5. Michael Jordan
MJ gets to be on the list because he’s the best ever to play the game, and he has a moustache. It’s an epic moustache purely by association of who its on.
4. Adam Morrison
This guy looks like a sloppy bitch. He is rocking that look as hard as he can, so he gets points for that. He has sort of a ratty-looking Mexican-esque moustache. It appears as if he can’t grow a real burly thick moustache, but he is doing the best that he can. Either way, here is more proof that chicks dig the ’stache.
3. Dick Butkus
This guy means business. You see him pointing at you? He’s saying, “You look at me the wrong way nancy-boy and I will break your neck like a twig.” That’s cause Dick Butkus doesn’t fuck around. Because of his name is painfully obvious to make fun of, he had to overcompensate when growing up. As such, he is ten times as manly as you or I.
2. Hulk Hogan
I know what you are thinking, “How did an ugly son-of-a-bitch like Hulk Hogan have a hot daughter?” It’s really an amazing tribute to the mysterious powers of the moustache. I heard a rumor that his moustache is not made of normal hair, but thousands of steel fibers. No one knows for sure though, everyone who has gotten close enough to find out has been beaten into a lumpy paste.
1. Rollie Fingers
I’m pretty sure that none of you have heard of Rollie Fingers, or seen a moustache as grand as his. He single-handedly brought back the Italian loopy moustache style. He didn’t care when people tried to make fun of it, because he knew that he had the most bad-ass moustache of any athlete ever to play a game.
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7 comments
I think Rollie Fingers wins on name alone. That guy was rolling his fingers more than Snoop Dogg. Dick ain’t kissing no butt, his name should be Dick Beatdown. I don’t understand how Morrison beat Jordan though…..?
comment by Rick Royce — May 7, 2008 @ 7:41 pm
I would have to agree with you guys that Rollie Fingers is top dog, it takes some balls for that kind of stache and precision trimming, imagine the day he accidentally trimmed off one of those beautiful loops, I’m teary thinking about it. And Butkus, you are the man, I wore number 51 in football in junior high cause of your stache… and well also because you are a fricken bad ass, hats off to you.
Also, Morrison, I’m glad that a man with “crap mustache syndrome” is on the list, this is a nondiscriminatory country indeed.
comment by Berman McBurly — May 7, 2008 @ 9:23 pm
We just found your website and we have to say, impressive, Men! We live in the southwest and enjoy the occasional cowboy with a fierce handlebar or “texas long horn” as we like to call ‘em. Keep up the good work and if we getty up yer way we will drop by to admire your facial hair.
Two Girls
comment by Two Girls — May 10, 2008 @ 12:16 pm
AWESOME ADAM! This is Adam Morrison’s #1 fan speaking! Fear da’ stache!!
comment by Jesse Diebolt — May 11, 2008 @ 8:15 pm
I do fear da stache, I wake up every night from a nightmare after having crapped myself from a dream that I too like adam morrison had crap mustache syndrome. I fear that stache like you wouldn’t believe my friend…
comment by Berman McBurly — May 13, 2008 @ 11:49 pm
[...] a lot of great moustaches in the history of man, these are some of the best in the domain of sports.http://brashmoustache.com/top-5/top-5-moustached-athletesTaylor & Francis Journals: WelcomeThe International Journal of the history of Sport is widely [...]
pingback by the history of sports — May 20, 2008 @ 12:16 pm
Adam Morrision wins over Jordan for this reason: the sleazy dirty sanchez ’stache does not cock block the biotches. They love to stroke his donut duster of a cheeto stain. Rollie Fingers wins for most surreal. Same thing with both Hulk Hogan and Dick Butkus.
Moustaches change the world. Much like a moustache with hinges opening a doorway to another dimension. Totally extreme, take it to the limit. 1’s and 0’s flying past your noggin at enormous rates.
hey what about Salvador Dali’s moustache? (I know he’s an artist, not an athelete.)
comment by Methuselah Jones — June 14, 2008 @ 4:38 pm